I am honest about my journey. I am honest about the good days and bad.
The last few days have been HELL….endo trying to lower my meds…he doesn’t like me being a steroid junky…says long term risk of high steroids…although I show NO signs of high steroid use….hey let’s lower it and mess up your quality of life more….uh ok…short term…high risk of death from crisis…but if you survive long term into your 80 (hahahahaha) you might not long term side effects…..
Teaching fitness classes, RAMPING up my business…it is TIME for this girl to be everything she wasn’t allowed to be and to STOP believing the words she heard OVER AND OVER, time to get up from the ashes of HELL and dance like there is no body watching…time to soak up the sun…my future is so bright this girl is gonna need some shades.
LOW CORTISOL…got me good…took me out…hasn’t been this bad in over a year…I wanted to disappear…the demon returns and invades every cell of my existence. I am worthless…it is hopeless….WHY ME…WHY ME…AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN…WE WHY!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve had many moments over the last 22 years screaming from the inside WHY ME….WHY?????? And I have had many moments when I sit back and say “Oh, that is why me!”
Recently I had one of those moments…I do this PAGE because I want to help ease our burdens…we will suffer but we don’t need to suffer alone…feel alone…it takes a VILLAGE…and this is OUR VILLAGE.
I’ve met so many people through this page….I truly think I have helped. You have helped me.
Recent conversations through a connection on this page lead to possibly saving one of our lives. I really really really think it did….the universe put everything into place for the VILLAGE to be stronger…STRONGER then the ADDISON’S…and we won. And we will WIN again and again and again.
We will have days of HELL…days of WHY ME???? And then you will have days of “OH, THAT IS WHY ME!!!!!”
There are days when I wish I never had an illness but I DO…can’t change that. There are days when I scream from the inside “WHY ME???????”. There are days I wish it was all over.
There are days when is scream and cry tears of joy “OH, THAT IS WHY ME!!”. I see the strength it has given me. I see the compassion and strength it has given my children. I see the VILLAGE….I LOVE MY VILLAGE.
This SALTY MUPPET…believes…she believes life is hard but life is BEAUTIFUL….
Today I created my VISION BOARD…the SALTY MUPPET needed to be reminded of her purpose, her strength, her power.
BAD DAYS…come and try and take me down…but this girl gets up, burned & tired, but she knows how to look the devil in the eye….she can stare him down and spit him out….
That is why me!!!!!!!!!!